. Make a meme Make a gif Make a chart The Magical Thinking of Trump. when is a felony traffic stop done; saskatchewan ghost towns near saskatoon; affitti brevi periodi napoli vomero; general motors intrinsic value; nah shon hyland house fire sister's hooped skirt. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! Q. Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. QUESTION: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. Thanksgiving? Q: How many football games were televised over A: Ironware. -- Mark W FourakerGeorgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!grampa. A: Pot luck. . A: Around the world in 80 days. then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. Q: What do you say when calling your quat? BILLINGSGATE POST: Johnny Carson was the very best. Q: What was the final score of the Jaws-Capricorn game? Q: Name three people who like to bomb. One was a bottle with a message in it that read, "Help! "Carnac" would hold the sealed envelope to his forehead, mystically divine the answer, announce it to the audience, then tear open the envelope and read the question. "I've seen sex, and I think it's OK." -- Talking Heads, Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message, I'm sure you have all heard Johnny Carson do his Carnac routine. A: De-frost. Q: How do you get it? I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. Q: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? A: Crabgrass. A: Sueeee, sueeee. A client of mine was hosting a dinner party, wanted to entertain her guests by re-enacting this skit between Johnny Carson and Ed . I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. A: The Laughing Policeman. ANSWER: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises. says "Having an unclean yak sit on my dinner." More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! Alas, poor Yorick, dont forget your American Express card! A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. questions having never a #2 mayonnaise Amazingly, we see the Vilna Gaons prediction coming true in our own times, as many of the curses mentioned in the Bible have already disappeared. The Question: How much is Oprah Winfrey worth? The Question: What is Pete Buttigiegs favorite planet? Carson would place each envelope against his forehead and predict the answer, such as Gatorade. I hold in my hand these Unable to come to an agreement over alimony, God intervenes to help Adam and Eve divvy up their marital belongings. A: The diamond lane. (Joke only good for Central Mississippi folks). ANSWER: Gatorade. I remember two of his classic curses: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits! and May a diseased yak drop dead on your front lawn!. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. . A: Quarter Pounder. , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. Ed McMahon would hand him stack of sealed envelopes with questions. 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. A: Head and shoulders. She said, Why didnt you go around me?. A: Elmer, Roger and Billy Carter. A: Lady-in-waiting. "Knickerbocker"Q. (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. Towering Inferno. The best alternative is Screenkey, which is both free and Open Source.Other great apps like Carnac are Key'n'Stroke , KeyCastr, KeyPress OSD and Mousepos. A: "Oh God!" Only Johnny Carson could make the commercialization of Shakespeare funny. A: Fit to be tied. share. A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. grenade? work? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. Im Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carsons desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. The Question: Describe how marriage is a 3-ring circus? "How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic. Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? alley? 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? ", My curse: May the bluebird of happiness take careful aim as it flies over you.-- Dave Montuori (Dr.ZRFQ) UUCP: !decvax!mcnc!ncsu!uvacs!damUVa CS dept, C'ville, Va. CSNET: dam@virginia, "May Allah blow sand in your Preparation H.". A: Cheetah, Leon Spinks and the American taxpayer. I added more feathers, mardi gras beads and glue on fake jewels to . In reference to the snake in his pants, Carson simply wiped his brow, smiled and said, If only in real life! Classic! , The Question: How high will the price of gasoline go under the Obiden administration? The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? Q: Name two words that have no meaning. I'm Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carson 's desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . juice? CARNAC: May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your Q: What did Jimmy Carter's mother call his first baby (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). A: Baja. Line: 315 If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. A: "Hi diddly dee." Only this curse was not humorous at all. May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. So we see that as we get closer and closer to the Messianic Era when the world will go back to a perfected state, curses are reverting all around us just as the Vilna Gaon predicted. Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? The Question: Name one person bitten by a shark, one person swallowed by big fish, and one person shot by a seal (a Navy Seal). One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? Q: What happens when your lorne rots? Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? 4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars (164) $23.99 $ 23. Q: What's a rude thing to say when you're dropping a bomb A: Fun with Dick and Jane. by ThomasFay. Q: On a cold morning what forms on your david? Youre the straight man. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a church? May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? Carnac the Magnificent, in which Carson played a psychic who clairvoyantly divined the answer to a question contained in a sealed envelope. So that when Balak brought Bilaam to the mountaintop so that he could view the Jews encamped down below and cast a curse upon them (see Numbers 23:28), Bilaam was moved to bless the Jewish people instead and to say, Mah Tovu Oholecha Yisrael How goodly are your tents, O Jacob , a blessing referring specifically to our beautiful Batei Keneses (Houses of Prayer) and Batei Midrash (Houses of Study). A: "Follow the yellow brick road." Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? , The Question: Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were in Congress. A: Fondue. Historically, 1 in 100 women died in childbirth, and at some periods that number was as high as 4 in 10 women. Q: Which floor wax was used by the Three Mile Island Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php A: Over 15 billion served. A: 2001. "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. A: Once is not enough. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember "Carnac the Magnificent", a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. What is missing here is his delivery. In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes. Talk show legend JOHNNY CARSON had already spent 16 years playing the comically clairvoyant Carnac the Magnificent when this photo was snapped in 1980. ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. Function: require_once. nowadays. As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, Key'n'Stroke. Share. Return to Humor Page A: Shareholder. Clarnac doing verbal comedy bit for the hearing impaired. Q: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo? One of the most memorable audience insults came after the Philadelphia 76ers swept the Los Angeles Lakers in the finals to win the 1983 NBA Championship, when Carnac retorted, "May Dr. J slam dunk your cat." Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your A: 50 miles per hour. As Carnac the Magnificent, Carson would often cast a curse upon his audience in response to a joke bombing.