However, the mood was brightened when he received a birthday cake from his sister. P | Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. Here are some favorites from rallypoint.com: Instructed a private in the mess hall to look for left-handed spatulas My 90-year-old dad was giving a talk at our local library about his World War II experiences. The only time you have too much fuel is when youre on fire. Youre standing in it, sir, said the sergeant. Anyone wanting to take pictures on our bases airfield needs a letter from public affairs, which happens to be me. and check out military jokes from other Vets, troops, and military support personnel! 46. Then one day I couldnt find it. He finally comes dragging in at. Eternal Piece And we don't even wonder 'why' because one has to twiddle their thumbs one way or another. Marine Approved is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associate Program. Because hes a captain in the Air Force. It helps to keep the pilot cool. I was very nervous, she said. It was basic training, and I was seated in the barber chair bemoaning the impending loss of my hair when the barber asked, Where are you from? St. While waiting every one will come by multiple times except yours, 62. The main job of the military is to provide the country's citizens absolute protection from both internal and external attacks. My husband is infantry, and he said the most wonderful things to convince me to marry him: The closets could all be mine since he wears the same thing Humankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there. I would stay behind and neatly print each soldiers name onto his Army-issued underwear. 13. What kind of grades do you need to have in order to join the Navy? We were a tough group. Semper Pie What should have been the day we chose to celebrate World Military Day? They are the ones protecting us at all times from external threats. We thought we would try to share as many with you as possible. She told me she warships them. It was sheer brilliance. During basic training at Fort Leavenworth, our sergeant asked if anyone had artistic abilities. I was working in Army security when a VIP from another base called to ask to whom he should address an important letter. Now, he said, when I say left, its the one that hurts.. We were an Air Force family, but our son could not grasp that fact. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!, 21. I thought I was on top of my game that day, Comedian Martha Raye was a great supporter of the military and made many trips to Vietnam to entertain the troops. However, one day he came into the room whistling with a smile on his face. Passenger Cargo that talks or Self-loading freight, 58. One stated they would love to work on a submarine. Thanks for coming back for me, the airman said, jumping on the back of the scooter. I felt confident as I aimed and squeezed the trigger of my carbine for my first During a combat medical training class, the topic was blast injuries. An old Marine Sergeant was standing near the edge of the puddle with his fishing line in a puddle. It took the poor guy all day. March forth! Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we landit's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern". Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Aviation JOKES. Since this can be an extremely stressful job for the pilots and a boring ordeal for all you lovely passengers, we have carefully compiled this list of funny one-liners about pilots to keep your spirits up. DeFrigNo! Chicago. Anyone wanting to take pictures on our bases airfield needs a letter from public affairs, which happens to be me. The next day, I received a letter addressed to Sgt. When the the Marine came back the Soldier nodded and thanked him for the drink, very pleased he pulled one over on the Marine. I admit itI have a tendency to exaggerate, and I was afraid when I joined the Navy that my creativity might get me in trouble. Now, lets try it again! Yes, she said. Ramrod straight, each would respond, Marine Air Group 36, sir or Second Marine Division, General. Then there was one young private. The danger of incident is no jokein 1985, a Japanese 747 airliner lost its tail midflight and plummeted into a mountain, killing 520 in the deadliest aircraft accident involving just one plane . Caller: Sgt. Dad got quiet. It was World War IIthe frontand we were on high alert. It was World War IIthe frontand we were on high alert. The c.i.a. My grandpa Bob was in the Navy. When Is Military Appreciation Month? Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. It is always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here. We were inspecting several lots of grenades. His son had clearly focussed more on dividing rather than conquering. A military base commander called to complain that the weather-forecasting software our company created for them kept reporting unexplainable wind shifts. When I enlisted in my teens, I took up smoking cigars to make myself look more mature. Bomber Pilots Do Them Too. While serving in Vietnam, my friend and his buddies were hunkered down in a mud-filled hole that had been dug into the side of a berm and covered with lumber for protection. I was the cook.. What has a nose and flies, but can't smell? Knowing my tough-to-spell last name would give him fits, I said, Just put down Sergeant Gary, as my last name is too hard. A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. Reluctantly, he showed it to me. There was bound to be trouble, and I was right, because suddenly, he fell silenteyebrows arched, brain overloaded. Hazing the new guy, he said with a grin. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all, as they should be. No copyright required, as all content is freely available on 1,000s of websites. Im 81 years old, he answered. He then asked conspiratorially, Do you want to keep your sideburns?I perked up. Finally, exasperated the frog asked, "What is the matter with you? In the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments, 23. Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. 3) The pen used by the military meets 16 pages of military specs. He wanted to move out of the barracks as soon as possible. February 24, 2023 Two B-52s Fly Over Tallinn For Estonia Independence Day Military Aviation February 23, 2023 F-35C . Whats the difference between God and a fighter pilot? Air Force Says OKEY DOKEY?. At one point, our very intimidating instructor pointed at me and said, Theres been a jeep explosion. My friend, an Air Force officer, was riding his scooter when he passed an airman who didnt salute. Why? I asked. Individual use is by implied consent. Tower "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7", Eastern 702 "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure by the way, after we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway", Tower "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7; did you copy the report from Eastern? Grandpapa Johns Pizza. Ocean Pearl, I answered. Youre the only one I can think of she wont be able to drink under the table.. I met his wife and baby and was impressed that he had all his flight gear neatly laid out on a table. You might be a Coastie if you forget how to color coordinate normal civilian clothes after weeks of wearing only blue. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them There are three rules in this mess hall- Shut up! One day you will walk out to your aircraft KNOWING that it is your last flight. I met his wife and baby and was impressed that he had all his flight gear During KP duty, my sergeant ordered me to prepare 100 gallons of soup for that nights dinner. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate, 18. I never knew you had such a weak stomach, I said. The program was halted when, after years of research and millions of dollars spent, the spy cat was run over by a cab. I am so happy you are risking your life for the USA! Pointing to the Airborne wings on my Army uniform, I explained, The last time someone gave me wings, I had to jump out of the airplane.. ", "Sir" she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now". Want some really over-the-top, cheesy jokes about the military? Divert your course NOW! August 15, 2021. When I heard him describe the impending birth of his first child as when the baby has boots on the A friend paid my mother a visit. Airman: The worst was when the air conditioner broke in our tent and it was 110 degrees outside! Overheard on a flight into Regina, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight to control it. Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. As I stepped forward, she jokingly offered me one, but I passed. The Blonde Fighter Pilot 66. How different military branches use the stars: The U.S. Army sleeps beneath the stars. Rodrigues? Me: Still the wrong number. After working his magic, the barber exclaimed, There you go, Yank. Students are great about sending our troops letters, and the troops love em. Either way, it is a simple gesture that will be sure to get a grin. P | Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. We made a private sweep all the sunshine off the sidewalks. The ships operations officer entered the messdeck, his eyes bleary and at half-mast. Oh, youre a troop who survived pepper spray AND mustard gas? She approached one of the women for an explanation: What enabled women here to achieve this marvelous reversal of roles? Land mines, replied the Kuwaiti woman. My friend kept asking what my military rank was, but I kept telling him its Private. 43. S | Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words. It was our first day on the rifle range at Lackland Air Force Base. My friend stopped, turned around, and glared at the airman. Explaining the use of the controls to a student "If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller. Thanks.. Anytime someone asked what his father did, hed say, Hes in the Army. I told him Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you. A tank ran over a bag of popcorn and apparently, two kernels were killed! (Sign over the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan). ", The student replied, "When I was number one for takeoff sir", 51. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal, 22. Air Traffic Control 6. From the pilot during his welcome message: We are pleased to announce that we have some of the best Flight Attendants in the aviation industry. Why were the Marines invented? Trask (his last name) used that heritage to lord it over me. Military Jokes and Humor stories have always amused and entertained. Are you near any landmarks that might help us locate you? the During that first roll call in the Army, I waited in dread as the sergeant got to my name: DiFeliciantonio. SUB sandwiches! What did you do? In large gold letters was printed: TRASH. It was always selling out, and I could never keep it in stock. The fighter jet stops whining once the engines are cut off. Soon after arriving at basic training, we were marched to the base barbershop, where we were told wed find a clipboard with our names on it. 3. Me: Hello? Jokes about crayon eaters and narcissistic Air Force personnel will never get old, though. Germany, like other NATO members, is protected by . If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance", To this, Warren replied, "Joy that helicopter is fifty quid, and fifty quid is fifty quid", The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. Collective Military Hardships One day an airman, an Army soldier, and a Marine were talking about the hardships they faced during their last deployment. Whats the main mission of the Marine Corps? Why does the military have a strict dress code for ceremonies and events? The flight attendant on our trip was handing out plastic pilot wings to some kids. Max Stanley (Test Pilot) The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world It can just barely kill you, 31. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. Having been an architectural draftsman in civilian life, I raised my hand. The military may have invented the Internet, but not all government schemes have worked as well. Why did the Soldier bring a blanket to an active battle zone? Members of the U.S. Navy are known to be a pretty sarcastic bunch. The sergeants reply: Completely, sir.. The U.S. Air Force chooses their hotels based on the stars. I told him that I had a date that night and asked for a very close shave. I say again, stand down and divert your course. There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane, 20. Please do not leave children or spouses, 14. Their one extravagance: a bare light bulb theyd hung from the ceiling. One guy was reading a newspaper article from back home about a congressional investigation into why some troops were living in relative luxury. These military jokes about the United States Air Force are a mixed bag. Good news and bad news, my instructor said. It took the poor guy all day. Do not communicate with officers using only Madonna lyrics. The cruiser opened up, shells furiously flying all around During World War II, my father often found himself stuck with KP duty. My dad and uncles were all in the Army during wartime, but only two of the three served overseas. Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind. A young pilot in a Fighter Jet was flying escort for a B-52 Bomber and generally being a nuisance, acting like a big hotshot, flying loops around the lumbering old bomber. But my fears were put to rest one day while getting into formation, which was determined by height. The local band hired to greet them was playing a popular hit of the time, I Wonder Whos Kissing Her Now.. One of the reasons the Air Force, Army, Navy, and Marines bicker so much is because they dont speak the same language. Some are jokes that only the U.S. Air Force can understand while others are jokes made about those who are USAF members. ", Continental 635 "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff roger; and yes, we copied Eastern and we've already notified our caterers", 53. How tough? Do you want to hear about my plane?. He looked over at the Soldier and said when are we going to stop playing these games, spitting in each others boots and pissing in each others drinks, its so juvenile!. There are so many funny military jokes and jabs out there so it took me a while to compile a list of only the best. During a combat medical training class, the topic was blast injuries. Whats the difference between a fighter pilot and a fighter jet? The Marine insisted that since he was in the aisle seat he would get it for him. These involve the army, the navy, the air force, and other security forces.. U.S. Navy Warship: This is the captain of a U.S. Navy ship. Do you know where the sensor is located? my coworker asked. I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to join the Marines.. I was very nervous, she said. If a baby joined the Army, where would they belong?